Be kind

“There are three ways to ultimate success:
The first way is to be kind.
The second way is to be kind.
The third way is to be kind.”

― Fred Rogers

Kindness is hard to define, you know it when you see it and feel it. A couple of stories from my own life illustrate the power of the practice of kindness, and how it can have a profound effect on both the giver and the receiver. 
 
Copenhagen
On a family vacation to Copenhagen last year we found ourselves walking past the national football stadium.  We had planned to take this route as our son Luca loves football and because it was on the way to a park we wanted to visit. As we walked past the tall steel walls and gates of the stadium we heard a voice from a little ways behind us say “Nice shirt!”  We all turned around to see who had paid my son the compliment. Luca was wearing a Liverpool FC soccer shirt with the name of Mohammed Salah emblazoned across the back of it, (Mo Salah is one of Liverpool's top strikers and also quite an amazing human being: find out more) Luca smiled at the man and what happened next took us all by surprise. The man then asked in a simple and matter of fact way, “do you want to come in and see the stadium?” 
 
This was all Luca wanted to do.  He looked up at my wife and me to see if we would say yes, and of course, we did. 
 
The man, whose name was Martin, was one of the grounds staff and he took his keys out of his pocket and opened one of the large steel doors which led into the stadium. 
 
I have been a soccer fan my whole life and getting to see a national stadium pre-season was just amazing. 
 
But then something more amazing happened, Martin told Luca he could walk on a corner of the newly-laid pitch and for the next twenty minutes, he engaged just with Luca in a conversation about Danish football and the history of the stadium. He did not have to do any of this, he just thought it would be a kind thing to do for a kid who obviously loved football. 
 
I don’t think any of us will ever forget that day: for the amazing opportunity of getting to see something so amazing first hand, but mostly for the kindness of our guide Martin.

 
Happy Memories 
My father had died two weeks before. I had flown back to England just before he died and had stayed to be with family and to make funeral arrangements. Luca and my wife arrived to take part in the Hindu funeral ceremony that would happen the next day. 
 
It was a long day of prayers and ritual and at the end of it, my family came back to our home exhausted and lost in thought about what had happened. 
 
As we all sat in the living room lost in our own thoughts, Luca, who was about 5 at the time, stood up and asked a simple question, “Can you all tell me your happy thoughts about Grandpa?” He had not known his grandfather well, we had visited the UK a few times from New York and he had been very small so he had fuzzy memories of his grandfather. 
 
This one question gave everyone a moment to think about a time and place which made them happy, a happy memory, and for the next hour, Luca got to hear all sorts of happy stories about his grandfather. 
 
This simple act of kindness by Luca helped people talk in a time when talking was the last thing anyone wanted to do but was also the most important thing to do.
 
Being kind is a practice, not a gift, and in times like this, it is important to practice that skill to help yourself and your families through this most unique and difficult of times.